Peace does not imply absence of any noise or trouble – it means even amongst suffering, you can still be calm in your heart.
Offering a peaceful home environment can not only benefit you but also the growth of your children. Keeping peace in the home can make your children more open, curious and calm.
Peace can reduce your need to physically intervene and reduce their violent and restless tendencies, as they learn from your actions.
For you as a rational mother, it is important to avoid rash decision-making and to adopt deliberate decision-making.
Impulsive decision-making is something that is driven by thoughtless sentiments or desires and it is an unproductive manifestation of your drive to control and dictate.
On the other hand, deliberate decision-making is more thoughtful and rooted in your ability to hold the emotions, restrain yourself from going for instant gratification, and to carefully judge every dimension before taking any decisions.
It is imperative for you to understand that if you succumb to the impulsive triggers, then you are following the orders of your reptilian brain – the limbic part of the brain which would force you to act like a selfish reptile that is only interested in self-gratification and survival.
As a modern-age mother, this is something you simply cannot expect or accept from yourself.
On the other hand, if you are being calm, then you are championing the ‘executive’ part of the brain – the prefrontal cortex that supresses the feelings of fear and frustration and allows you to monitor the situation, plan like a supercool spy and execute with panache.
Wouldn’t you want to exhibit to your child that you are perfectly in control and that you are an epitome of wisdom – a mother who can deliberately select the most appropriate response according to the situation?
If you become successful at this, then you will be doing the most wonderful job ever – teaching your child to exercise self-restraint, killing damaging impulses in the bud, introducing sufficient delays so that emotional disturbances die down, giving ample chance to the neocortical analytical brain and thus, thinking wisely before reacting!
The way we interact with our children affects their mental growth and understanding.
We can either choose to be cooperative or we can choose to boss them around. This fundamental difference between our approach will define whether they grow to be more confident, outgoing or self-indulging and doubtful.
The simplest way to practice cooperation is to stop ordering and start stimulating desire and understanding.
Cooperation can go a long way in building relations while ordering someone around will only work until the looming threat of repercussions and consequences remains.
Raising children is a stressful time for both moms and children.
However, the way you conduct yourself with children deeply affects their growth. Mindfully choosing more positive and liberating approaches will reduce stress for both the parties while acting out of stress and impulse will always contribute to increasing stress and deteriorating relationships.